jerboa-lover

I love him and I want to be with him. I could have played it stupid with his fake account that he made, but it was painfully obvious and I just couldn't stop myself. Sigh. I wish there were a way to get him back. I love him and I hate not being able to talk to him and to chat with him like we used to. We used to have such fun chatting about random stuff. I know we argued too, but I kind of like to argue. It shows people I care. It's just part of who I've always been. If it would get him back I would never argue again. I would agree with him all the time if that's what it took...I ...I just need him in my life and it kills me to be without him

I just got a new boyfriend! His name is Alan Wilson! Alan has the prettiest blue eyes, they sparkle wonderfully. He has the softest rosy pink lips and the most luscious brown hair. He is a bit freckly, but I think its cute. He's really quiet and a bit of a stoner, but I'm certain he's a keeper. I met him today while walking in the woods up here in Gasquet. He followed me home, and now he's living with me. I love him so much

Joey...I love you

I can change, I promise. I love you so much. I know I make tons of stupid mistakes...but I really do love you. I don't ever want to be with anyone but you.

I don't know why you're doing this to me. Are you trying to break my heart like I broke yours? I just don't know what you're thinking. Please tell me everything.

I just...I don't know what will happen if I don't have you to love in my life.

Joey...you're hurting me so much...and yet, no matter how much you hurt me, I will always love you. I am extremely devoted to the ones I love.

It just takes me a few tries to get it right, you can even ask Jauane.

I still care about people that treated me like dirt. Even after years of people hurting me over and over, I will continue to think good things about them.

I love you, I really do. I don't want all of our happy memories together to be wasted. I don't want to have to lock them up. I want to be able to curl up in your arms late at night and just talk about them and see you smile when I mention them.

Joe...I can't live this life without you. I don't want to live this life without you. I haven't hurt myself and I'm not going to, because I promised you a while ago that I wouldn't anymore.

Joe please, I'm begging you. I'm trying with every fiber of my being to make a difference. I WILL change to be someone you want...but first I need you to be with me so I can know exactly what you want.

How can I change for you if I can't be with you?

I will need your help at first to remind me of who you want me to be.

Joe, please don't leave me...I love you

He watched me, after having blocked me on here and I don't know what that means. Is going to forgive me? Is he going to give me another chance? Does just want to be friends? Or does he just want to keep a close eye on me because he doesn't trust me? Was it even him that did it? Or did someone else log into his account and do it for him? I don't know what to think, so I will just hope for the best.

I love Joey

Over looking this over, I had a deja vu moment. I realized that after I posted this, he never contacted me again and I was crying and wrote another journal saying something like hoping did nothing he still left me...this journal has bad luck written all over it because of my deja vu

I don't want to lose him again, we've been split apart so many times its unreal, its always my fault though. I just fail at keeping people happy enough to want to be with me. If I had known. I would have done things differently. I just can't believe that after everything we've been through, he would break up with me over kids and dogs. Its not like I hate dogs! I just don't like sneaky disobedient ones. And I love kids, I just don't like selfish bratty kids. I loved his youngest brother to pieces...I just don't know what to do....I can't contact him and tell him any of this and I can't contact his friends either to tell them to tell him. I feel lost and heartbroken and betrayed. My only hope is that he will come on here one random day and read this...I just need him...I can't live my life without him